A Culture of Rape?

Pop culture has taught us to view rape as something that occurs in dark alleyways, during out of control parties, or at knifepoint. We traditionally think of rapists as psychotic rather than average men (and certainly not as our significant others). While rape certain occurs in the remarkable fashion that is most commonly presented, these instances are the exception and not the rule—rape encompasses much more than we often imagine. Susan Brownmiller writes that rape “is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear” (Schneir 272) and that “the typical American perpetrator of forcible rape is little more than an aggressive, hostile youth who chooses to do violence to women” (274).

When we begin to recognize that rape is not some rare phenomenon, we begin to realize how often it really does happen. Emilie Morgan writes of the THREE different times she was raped. The second time she was raped, she explains, occurred on a date. She describes, “he didn’t overpower me like the man who had raped me three years earlier. He simply didn’t stop when I told him to” (Findlen 36). Society has not always taught us that this is rape, but according to the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center, a national study reported that 75% of all rape survivors know their attackers. Simply because the act is not consensual, it most certainly is sexual assault in the form of rape. However, our (patriarchal) society has encouraged us to downplay these events. We are told we did not speak up for ourselves loudly enough, it was just a misunderstanding, our significant other didn’t mean to hurt us. The experience of women is thus delegitimized.

Worse, women are even blamed for their own rape. After discussing the self-confidence and self-assuredness that learning self-defense gave her, Whitney Walker writes, “And then there’s the double standard that comes from the same sources that advise against self-defense. If you get raped, the first question is “Did you fight back?” “No.” You must have wanted it.” No other crime victims are accused of encouraging the attack… the male robbery victim does not get blamed for keeping his wallet in his back pocket” (Findlen 131). Women who dress, flirt, or otherwise act sexually or suggestively supposedly want to get raped—they asked for it. Some even go as far as to claim that the woman enjoyed herself. I can’t even fathom such a statement—being raped is an enjoyable experience??

This culture revolving around sex (and thus to a certain degree, rape) is affecting today’s youth. Younger generations of girls are being taught that they need to submit to sex and the desires of men. Says Ariel Levy, “about a quarter of girls between ages fifteen and nineteen describe their first time as “voluntary but unwanted” according to the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. The only message that seems to be successfully transmitted to girls about sex and sexiness is that it is something they need to embody to be cool” (Levy 163). The pressure and examples set by the greater society are thus taking away women’s choice and control over their own actions and decisions. In regards to this, Whitney Walker asks, “Why is a woman’s right to control her body constantly threatened? Whether referring to reproductive rights or sexual violence, the answer is to take control back” (Findlen 131). For Walker, the way to do so was self-defense, but there are certainly other ways to combat a culture of rape. Solidarity between women and sharing of experiences can promote healing, and efforts like “Take Back the Night” can help promote awareness. Most importantly, we first need to acknowledge the many ways in which rape (and other forms of sexual assault) happens. Once we recognize the experience of women, we can begin to “take back control” and change it.