Follow Up

Marilyn Frye points out the difference between a woman’s tears and a man’s tears and how each is perceived. A man is apparently no longer masculine if he cries. On the other hand, it’s perfectly fine for a woman to cry. If a man’s biggest complaint is that he is thought of as less masculine for crying, then I say that men must have it pretty good. While women may not be criticized for crying, they, unlike men, still struggle for equality in a male-dominated work force. Women are thought of as bad mothers if they do not stay home every day and care for their children. So while women will not be teased for crying, they still have it so much harder than men. Men never had to fight for a right to play sports, men never had to fight to be in the work force, they never had to fight for the right to go to college. When it comes to struggles, men have had a pretty smooth ride.

Men also have it pretty easy when it comes to sleeping around. Men can practically do whatever they want and never get branded for it. If a man hooks up with a lot of girls, or sleeps with them, then he is thought of as a player. All of his guy friends look up to him and respect him for being so good at the “game.” But if a woman is promiscuous and gets with a lot of guys then she is thought of as trashy, slutty, dirty, a whore. It’s not right. A man can get with as many women as he wants and not get shit for it while a woman is a downright whore if she hooks up with a few people.

Frye also brought to my attention the act of a man opening a door for a woman. Yes, I do like it when my boyfriend opens my car door or holds the door for me at a restaurant but I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. In fact, if women really want to achieve equality, we should hold the door for men once in a while. We don’t need a man to protect us or keep us safe; we can do this on our own. In order to achieve equality, we need to stop depending on men.

Women have all of these expectations that they are supposed to meet. Dress this way, talk this way, look this way, take care of your kids this way, do your laundry this way-- it’s enough to make one go mad. The standards that women are supposed to meet are unrealistic. Then there are men, whose expectations are to supply for their family and keep his wife and kids safe. Johnson writes in her “Patriarchy, the System, “As I grew up watching movies and television, for example, the message was clear that men are the most important people on the planet because they’re the ones who supposedly do the most important things as defined by patriarchal culture. They’re the strong ones who build, the heroes who fight the good fight, the geniuses, writers and artists, the bold leaders and even the evil—but always interesting—villains. Even God is gendered male.” When one watches movies or TV it is almost always true that a man plays some sort of leading role and a lot of the time the woman in the movie is clothed in practically nothing, however this is not always the case. Women need to break the system, we need to break away from a patriarchal society, we need to break the stereotypes and start redefining what it means to be a woman.

So far, women have achieved the right to vote, the right to go to college, the right to work. But, it would not be at all fair to say that these things are done without discrimination. Women need to not be afraid to stand on their own two feet and take care of themselves, to stand up for what they want. If women never stand up for what they want, then they will never get it.